“My basic principle is that you don’t have to make decisions
because they are easy; you don’t make them because they are cheap;
you don’t make them because they’re popular;
you make them because they’re right.”
– Rev. Theodore Hesburgh, SCS, STD, President Emeritus of the University of Notre Dame.

Tina Valentino is the Editor/Publisher

The free lunch.  Of course, there is no such thing.  And despite of the ultra-inefficiency of the Do Not Call Registry, I have not won a free $1,000 Walmart Gift Card either.  Nothing worth having is cheap as Fr. Hesburgh points out, or easy.  “Things” and “favors” and “special offers” are generally not free.  There are always strings attached no matter how sincere of legit the offer may seem.  Ask any senior who has been the victim of a gypsy scam or burglary, or any poor soul who has coughed up their bank account number to a persuasive peddler only to have their savings disappear.  Our first and foremost lesson should be that our freedom has not been and is not free.  Ask a veteran.  A disabled veteran.

But there are free experiences around us at all times, some offer fascinating lessons in history and tradition while some are just fun and entertaining.  For example, on Monday, May 28 at Noon, the Village of Hillside invites all residents to attend a Memorial Day Observance at the Memorial in the Hillside Commons.  I have attended the ceremony numerous times and visited the Commons’ memorial.  Like Franklyn Park’s memorial and ceremony, Hillside’s always-moving tribute to those who have made the ultimate sacrifice is an excellent opportunity to experience, remember and cherish what too many of us take for granted.

On Saturday, May 12, Melrose Park’s Little League Baseball will hold its annual parade, complete with screaming fire truck sirens and public works vehicles full of kids with baseball hats that are too big for their little heads.  But that’s the draw — it’s a free experience that takes us back to our own sweaty, no-uniforms-required sandlot games.  My grandfather always kept a lawn chair and jacket in the truck of his car and, on countless spring and summer nights he wisely opted to watch local t-ball players from the sidelines instead of overpaid MLB prima donnas on television.  You can’t put a price on a kid’s first at bat.

As for myself, you can fine me sitting on the curb outside the Quad at Dominican University in River Forest on Friday, May 4 at dusk for the annual Candle and Rose Ceremony, first held in 1928. Begun by Sr. Constanza, an English professor, the tradition has changed very little over the decades, and is a powerful free experience, pairing graduating seniors bearing lit candles with their partners who carry roses, which they exchange during the program. Candles represent the light of learning, the light of Veritas (truth) passed on from senior graduates. Roses (Caritas or charity) remind those seniors to be “faithful to the teachings and standards of Dominican tradition,” symbolizing beauty, love and compassion.

Its been 30 years already since I carried a rose across the Cloister Walk. But it was just today that I was reminded of Thoreau’s words: All good things are wild, and free.

Keep on going, and the chances are that you will
stumble on something, perhaps when you are least
expecting it. I never heard of anyone ever stumbling
on anything sitting down.
— Charles F. Kettering

Tina Valentino is the Editor/Publisher

Oh well. Nothin’ I can do. Water under the bridge. Too late.  It’s out of our hands. Let it go. What’s the use. None of our business. Or, as Doris Day might chime in, “What will be will be.” Only to be followed by shrugging one’s shoulders.

Every year at this time, I would be geared up for Kiddieland’s “Tax Ride Off” grand opening weekend in April. In my mind, I’m still clutching my ticket, deeply inhaling the intoxicating combination of popcorn and train engine fumes, salivating for a hot dog and savoring the last refuge of childhood—stubbornly refusing to give in even though I know full well that Kiddieland is long gone. In my heart, though, I still believe it could have somehow been saved if not for so many who turned a blind eye, said “Oh well” and shrugged their shoulders. Landmark authorities, legal experts, powerful politicians across the state and even Kiddieland die-hards just chalked it up to retail progress and kept their noses out of the family feud. I’m sure glad the colonists didn’t feel that way. Outnumbered 3-1, George Washington could have very well said, “Men, it’s out of our hands. There’s not much we can do at this point. It’s a done deal.” What?   Without trying? As Winston Churchill said years later, “Wars are not won by evacuations.”

Which leads to me to applaud my courageous neighbors, the Missionary Sisters of St. Charles Borromeo in west Melrose Park. Practically penniless and powerless against the porno palace proprietor, they could have simply retreated into their convent, prayed for the poor souls that would patronize the “strip club” and hoped to God they would be safe living next door to a businesses that welcomes drunken degenerates to the neighborhood. They could have. But they didn’t. And they rallied many others to their cause, holding a successful vigil last month on their property that is now literally inches away from the scum of the earth. Even the most elderly of the Sisters joined the protest, in their habits, in their wheelchairs, holding a sign that said “Got Morals?” Television stations, newspapers and radio shows took notice and shined some heavenly light on this sneak attack upon a small, unsuspecting congregation of nuns that have dedicated their lives to teaching little children and caring for the sick and aging among us. Will the win their fight? I don’t know if Doris Day will weigh in on this or not. But I do know they are living the words of the Bibles book of Galations: Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

Many times, I have shrugged my own shoulders. Yet when it comes to principle, I’m usually in the middle of the fight, getting my knuckles bloody, making life harder for myself and watching people roll their eyeballs. If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Where there’s a will, there’s a way. Thankfully, George Washington and his ragged troops felt that way. And God bless the Missionary Sisters, their Provincial Guild and their neighbors for feeling that way. Some things are just worth fighting for and, once again, they serve the community; this time, as an inspiration.

As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler;
solitude will not be solitude,
poverty will not be poverty,
nor weakness weakness.
– Henry David Thoreau

Tina Valentino is the Editor/Publisher

I’M BORED. I love my Facebook friends but some, mostly the younger ones, are on my last nerve. My friend’s dog, Fredo, is bored and that’s why he digs through the garbage and treated himself to some Christmas panettone, a fresh loaf of bread and a generous portion of cardboard recently to help pass the time. But these constantly-bored teens and young adults need to either sit down with a volume of Thoreau’s works (God forbid), get a life, or both. These regular postings of “Text me I’m soooooo bored” are as difficult for me to comprehend as an episode of “Hoarders.”

I don’t honestly remember ever being bored although there are many days now when I wish I had absolutely nothing to do. As I put Neighbors together every month, I see so many things that I wish I had time to do, organizations I would like to help, programs I would love to attend. This month is no exception—there never seems to be enough time, but I would gladly join with the naturalists at Trailside in River Forest to help restore and beautify the grounds. For years, I have wanted to enjoy tea and a $10 Monday program at The Nineteenth Century Club in Oak Park and ruminate about the arts, music, literature and the social sciences. Give me the chance to leisurely check out the Franklin Park Library’s digital collection or sign up for Motivated Mondays at the Hillside Library. And just once, let me take my seat for River Forest Library’s fireside chat; read a book to a child at Hephzibah Home; vacuum the halls of Ronald McDonald House; pitch in at the Bellwood Boys and Girls Club, the Bellwood VFW Post, the Franklin Park American Legion or Villa Scalabrini Home for the Aged in Northlake.

It’s a well-kept secret that I took four years of Italian in high school and I admit, with great shame, that I cannot speak a word except for the usual mangled suspects like agita, gabbadost, maliocch’, mannaggia, menzamenz, mezzamort and scustumad. But last month at Mass, Father Richard Woods, O.P., scholar and professor of Theology at Dominican University, planted a single, simple Italian word in my head: Lento, to slow down, to take stock. Something Thoreau did often, resulting in his extraordinary life, writings and legacy. “Our life is frittered away by detail. Simplify, simplify, simplify! Simplicity of life and elevation of purpose,” he wrote from experience.

So not only do I urge my young Facebook friends (and hoarders) to take stock, I remind myself as well. We all face deadlines in different ways. Clearly, it’s not just about the countless hours of being stuck in the office carefully converting artwork, preparing postscript files and creating the PDF files of Neighbors magazine for the printer each month so that an issue, a story, a column might be so good it could win an award. “Be not simply good, be good for something,” Thoreau also said. Whether you observe Lent or not, lento in any language translates into something meaningful for everyone. Slow down, enjoy this issue and, hopefully, there will be more time to patronize, celebrate, contribute to and elevate the neighbors you’ll find in these pages.

What I wanted most for my daughter
was that she be able to soar confidently in her own sky,
whatever that may be.
— Helen Claes

Tina Valentino is the Editor/Publisher

Cinderella. If only I had the nerve to print the picture of me in my cowgirl  Halloween costume, complete with red hat, red boots, holster and six-shooter at about age 6, you might imagine that I wasn’t much of a Cinderella fan. And you would be right. I probably watched more episodes of Bonanza than anyone in my first grade class. Over the years, I had been Tweety bird, a bunny, a scarecrow, a hobo and a dozen other impersonators at Halloween but never once a princess.

Until I was in high school. Prom was one of the first teenage stress tests, along with getting a driver’s license, my first dent and taking the ACT. In today’s world, however, sexting, bullying, drugs, peer pressure, date rape, unemployment and social networking, to name a few, give the average teen—and their parents—a lot more to worry about than the color of the corsage. While well-off teens will charge their expensive dresses and be chauffeured in Hummer limos, what about the girl whose parents work two jobs just to get by? Or aren’t working at all? True, it’s not the worst thing in the world to miss your Prom. There are poor, lonely, sick people, homeless veterans and numerous other causes that deserve our attention. But “The Cinderella Project” isn’t asking for much. Just a little self-esteem for the average girl.

I had never even heard of it before until the director of the Forest Park Community Center brought it to my attention. After Googling it, I see it’s been accomplished with great success around the country from New Hampshire to Los Angeles. The local idea came from Kiwanis member Jerry Lordan who inspired Mary Win Conner and Karen Dylewski to run with it and do their best to give some area girls a chance to find their inner princess. It’s not a charity. “It’s a way to make it a fabulous experience for proud young teens who simply can’t afford the dress, accessories, beauty salon costs that are all a part of going to Prom,” explained Dylewski, the mother of two girls. “Many of us know what it’s like to be that girl who simply cannot afford to spend a lot of money but every girl should be able to attend her Prom if she wants to.” So, the fairy godmothers have been busy and continue to welcome donations of dresses, shoes, purses, jewelry, hair and makeup services so that any girl, no matter her financial status, can find her inner princess on this special night. “I am just hoping that we can show some girls that they can be anything they want to be,” added Dylewski, who currently has 22 dresses in her office. Wardrobe donations are being accepted by Karen at the Howard Mohr Community Center at Desplaines and Jackson Boulevard in Forest Park and by Rachell Entler at the Park District of Forest Park. If anyone wishes to contribute makeup, hair or nail services, contact Mary Win Connor at winbaldy@aol.com or Karen at kdylewski@forestpark.net.

I was one of the lucky ones. I had an awesome dress. My friend did my hair and makeup. And my date, the only person I wanted to go with, said yes. I remember it like yesterday and I commend these neighbors for trying to make some simple wishes come true.

Everyone has inside of him a piece of good news.
The good news is that you don’t know how great
you can be! How much you can love! What you can
accomplish! And what your potential is!
— Anne Frank

Tina Valentino is the Editor/Publisher

What’s in a domain name? That which we call local by any other name would smell as sweet…

Actually, I think it stinks. My Oak Park friend Matt Baron, who contributes great local stories to Neighbors magazine, gave me my first whiff of the landfill-like odor in his blog “Chicago Tribune’s Hyper-Hyper-Local Push” at www.insideedgepr.com a few weeks before Christmas. Despite decades of raking in obscene amounts of revenue from sections upon sections of display advertising, classified and the lottery of legal notices, the Tribune still filed for bankruptcy in 2008. A few years later, they launched TribLocal to gain a better foothold in the suburbs, which they have essentially ignored, with the exception of obituaries. Where do tyrants and dictators go when their coffers dry up? Into the little villages to pillage and plunder, to take and to charge and to expand their kingdoms.

The “Honey, I shrunk the newspaper” Chicago Sun-Times and its 39 suburban tag-alongs gave readers a swell Christmas gift by charging newbies and current subscribers to read all Sun-Times Media websites. And, with AOL’s Patch.com webpages of local news steadily encroaching what TribLocal imagined would be its own dynasty, a new year is as good a time as any to test fire an internet missile. On November 28, the Tribune Company bought up over 300 (334 to be exact) domain names such as RiverGroveTribune.com, BellwoodTribune.com, MelroseParkTribune.com, HillsideTribune.com. Somehow they missed Westchester, Northlake and North Riverside as this issue goes to press. For a company not even close to emerging from bankruptcy protection, this is quite a zealous, expensive—and pathetically predictable—venture. The Chicago well has run dry so let’s pretend 1) that we really care about what’s happening in the suburbs while 2) we start tapping into suburban businesses while promising them a phenomenal internet “circulation.” Smells like the perfume of a rotten egg, alright. Armed with a pen and paper in one hand and my camera in the other, I have covered people and progress in the suburbs since 1982. So many times I’ve said to myself, “This is such an extraordinary event”—to listen to astronaut Lee Archambault in Bellwood, to meet Dr. Percy Julian’s daughter in Maywood, to tour the Borsato Museum in Northlake, to celebrate the centennial in Forest Park, to participate in Veterans Day in Franklin Park, to experience the Feast of Our Lady of Mount Carmel in Melrose Park—and, yet, where were the Trib and Sun-Times? Nowhere to be found.

“We cannot make good news out of bad practice.” Edward R. Murrow should know. In 2012, Neighbors Magazine will continue its proven practice of delivering good, local news—in print for free, online for free and networking through Facebook. Because I believe, like Anne Frank, that everyone has inside of him or her a piece of good news, a story to tell, a goal to accomplish and I try to help it along even though we have only one lackluster local domain name. Happy New Year, neighbors. How great can we be, how much can we love and accomplish in 2012?

Tina Valentino is the Editor and Publisher of Neighbors, a FREE publication that spotlights the western suburbs and partners advertisers with award-winning stories.  Neighbors Magazine – “Everyone has one” is distributed each month via high-traffic retail and/or commercial outlets throughout Bellwood, Berkeley, Elmwood Park, Forest Park, Franklin Park, Hillside, Maywood, Melrose Park, Northlake, North Riverside, Oak Park, River Forest, River Grove, Schiller Park, Stone Park and Westchester.  www.neighborsmagazine.com